If I'm being honest, the thought of an introduction seems almost impossible, confronting even. As a thirty five year old woman, where do I begin? My childhood? Born and raised on Vancouver island with a simple family structure. Stay at home mom, middle class working father, older brother and younger sister. That doesn't really feel like it paints the true picture. Let's skip forward at bit maybe?
At thirteen I suffered a massive head injury causing tremendous memory loss and years of recovery. Simultaneously the picture perfect family structure shattered due to addiction within my family, abuses, loss, heartbreak pain. So much, so fast, so complex and sadly so relatable for so many.
Maybe the story begins at 15 when circumstances had me living independently from my parents as they ventured off island and I was left here navigated adulthood way before I was truly an adult. A older boyfriend, experiences way above my maturity level, life feeling like it was just happening to me out of my control...
Maybe fast forwarding, my early twenties where a home gave me grounding, a soft sense of security, a partner who felt like a prayer answered. A decade together of dancing in pure storybook love, travelling the world drunk on experiences and craving to see everything we could together. We vowed to be each others everything, to push each other to evolve into our truest, best selves.
If I'm being honest - and I'm sure the mothers reading this can relate - the story really begins when you see those two little lines, that plus sign, that moment the world stops spinning. For us, that joy of a positive pregnancy test was the cultivation of years of trying, of tests and worry, of conversations about what might come next, but there it was, the beginning. Motherhood. The end of one life and the sweet start of another.
I've experienced my share of heartbreak in my life but absolutely nothing will ever prepare you for the loss of a child. I could write novels about the waves of grief that swallowed me whole in that time of my life, but for now I'll gently, softly, lay her memory down, cherishing the weeks we shared before she was called away. One day I'll sit under the apple tree we planted for her and write until my hands bleed the same crimson red I saw that day I realized we weren't going to meet earthside, just yet.
I was a mother from that moment on, a mother with empty arms, a heart bursting with love to give. So our journey began again consciously and intentionally welcoming a baby into our world.
On the full moon in December my son entered my womb. Within weeks he visited me in my dreams, holding his sisters hand, he told me his name. In that moment I knew we would have a beautiful life together, my sweet boy and I. Again there are novels waiting to be written about our pregnancy; our birth, our postpartum, our feeding, as all moms know, there is just so much to say, to share, to hold space for.
I think that truly is what this space will be - a space of deep nourishing nesting - a tangle of all the twigs of motherhood in written form. A space for the beautiful expression that is Motherhood.
Where do we mothers go to share? To connect? To nourish our exhausted bodies? Online spaces can lure us in, but for me personally I need more, I want more, I crave more. No editing down to fit a caption box, no algorithm, no sadness as your words and stories slowly fade away as the scroll continues. Let this place be where you and I connect on a soul level. Where we dive deep in our experiences, our cravings for something with more substance.
This space was offered to me as this incredible opportunity to weave together my passion for creating, for photos, for writing, for motherhood, for community. This journal is our opportunity to create a sacred space to nurture ourselves, to drink in the lessons and thoughts of motherhood, to share those sleepless night ideas, to nest together. Here in this space the possibilities feel endless.
Lacey Iris Rivers, wife, mother to two babies, one earthside one waiting to return, sister, animal lover, islander, friend, writer, creative....
It's confronting writing an introduction, where does one truly begin, who am I really? Which version of me do you want to know? What connects you the reader with me the writer?
Something called you to read these words, when there's a million other things pulling at your attention. You choose to read my words and get to know me; I am honoured truly. Something has woven you and I. I trust that so deeply, so lets fan this flame and connect. Let's continue to get to know one another to build this community, to create a beautiful nourishing nest of ideas, words and motherhood. I am grateful for your time, I don't take it for granted.
These words I share with you come while I lay Hyder to sleep or settle him in the night. Tangled in the sheets on the verge of drifting into sleep, I often receive these words paired with an immense call to let them flow through me into you. As we move forward building this connection, my hope is to touch on the topics of motherhood that sometimes feel left in the dark; co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, navigating postpartum in a world that has forgotten the true meaning of Village, rediscovering intimacy within ourselves and partners, a slow soft paced childhood in a world that is obsessed with milestones and putting children in boxes, the taboo topics of motherhood from a first time mother just trying to find her footing in this world. As we dive in and form a connection together, each month I hope to inspire you, support you, encourage you, cause you to pause and ponder, and although I'm sure we will have conflicting views on some things I am so excited for us to expand and grow in support of our common thread; Mothering.
I am Lacey, and I am so excited to connect with you!
